Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Fake call :: iPhone App

Monday, November 10th, 2008

Fake calls is the funniest iPhone app I’ve seen so far. It’s not free, but only 99 cents. Basically if you get caught on the worst date ever or just want to have a reason to duck out of a meeting or end a pointles conversation (with Naveed)….this app can help with a bit of a fake out.

Just tap the app, triggering “Fakecall mode.” Within seconds, the phone’s call screen appears, the phone rings and the buttons to accept and decline calls surface. The look and sound are really believable.

Or you could stop being dishonest and just tell someone that you have to leave. And give (or don’t give) them the reason

Med-school joke

Sunday, November 9th, 2008

A math professor was explaining a particularly complicated calculus concept to his class when a frustrated pre-med student interrupts him. “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” the pre-med blurts out. The professor pauses, and answers matter-of-factly: “Because math saves lives.” “How?” demanded the student. “How on Earth does calculus save lives?” “Because,” replied the professor, “it keeps certain people out of medical school.”

Amit’s Actual Office Space

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Hahahahahaha….So Hilarioussss!

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Chuck Norris Facts

Thursday, August 7th, 2008

* There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.* Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.* Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.* Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.* Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.* Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.* Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.* If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ 

Why I fired by secretary today

Sunday, June 1st, 2008

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy birthday!”, and possibly have a present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy birthday”.

I thought… well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids ate breakfast and didn’t say a word.

So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane said, “Good morning boss, happy birthday!” It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your birthday, let’s go out to lunch, just you and me”.

I said, “Thanks Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”

I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?”

She said, “Let’s go to my apartment”.

After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I’ll be right back”.

“OK”, I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake… followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked…

24: Season Two: The Musical

Saturday, May 31st, 2008

Check it out…

Cheap GPS

Sunday, May 18th, 2008

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Excellent Indian Student

Saturday, May 17th, 2008

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, ‘Let’s begin by reviewing some American History.

Who said ‘Give me Liberty , or give me Death’? She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up : ‘Patrick Henry, 1775′ he said. “Very good!”

Who said “Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?”
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar, “Abraham Lincoln, 1863″ said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed.” Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.

She heard a loud whisper: ‘F*** the Indians,’ ‘Who said that?’ she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. “General Custer, 1862.”

At that point, a student in the back said, ‘I’m gonna puke.’ The teacher glares around and asks ‘All right! Now, who said that?’Again, Chandrasekhar says, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”

Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this!” Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , ‘Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!’

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said “You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.” Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him - 2004.

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re f*****d!”
And Chandrasekhar said quietly, “I think its Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe, 2008.”

“The Mclovin Fund”

Thursday, April 24th, 2008

Mclovin is a legend!

Funniest Aussie Joke for a Long Time!

Saturday, April 12th, 2008

Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of Living in Shanghai. He buys a small piece of land near to Mt Isa. A Few days after moving in the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region, so he goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens not wanting to interrupt these ‘Chinese customs’, he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another ‘Chinese custom’, he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, pause, and then put his head next to the bull’s bum.

The Aussie bloke can’t handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says ‘Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese Customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood, and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass, and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull’s bum, it could just about shit on you.

The Chinese man is very taken back and says ‘Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs’.

‘What do you mean mate’ says the Aussie, ‘Those aren’t Australian customs.’
‘Yes they are’, replied the Chinese man, ‘man at travel agent tell me’. ‘ He say, to become true Australian, I learn chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bull-shit’.

A Sure Sign Of Spring

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

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HOW TO GET FIRED!

Friday, March 14th, 2008

For the last company picnic, management had decided that, due to liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one (1) drink per person. 

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The person who ordered the cups was fired!! 

There Will Be Bud

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

“I ordered a Hummer hybrid.” —Noted environmentalist Paris Hilton. Unfortunately, according to a Hummer spokesman, there is no such car

Monday, January 14th, 2008

Some of the, er, more interesting celebrity quotes from 2007.

Another (Crank ‘Dat) Curry Sauce Parody

Sunday, January 13th, 2008

This is soooo hilarious!!!

Soulja Boy “Crank That” Acoustic

Sunday, January 13th, 2008


This is how the white kids crank it…

 

PINEAPPLE!

Saturday, January 12th, 2008

Crocodile Hunter Meets His Match. The funniest part, when he compared a small croc to Joanne Rivers….Hilarious!!